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  • Writer's pictureLena Ghokasian

Wounded Feminine

She is someone who was told that she needed to suppress her shine, or not be seen or heard. She was too sexy just being her. Too sensual, without her even trying,

She is someone who has natural light but others try to dim.

Some women are jealous of her, and some do not know why they hate her.

She is someone who was wounded as a child by parents, care takers, family etc.

Perhaps sexually abused, told to be quiet, someone held your mouth to quiet you down, shushed her in front of others.

She was told that she was not allowed to have opinions, or be seen or heard.

Told that her duty, why she lived, was to serve a man, her husband.

Her role in life was to make someone else happy, not her but others.

The wounded feminine can derive from culture and ethnicity. Where the woman is seen as the servant, submissive, silent.

A wounded feminine often struggles in relationships, specially love, but it can also be in friendships and career. Innately she doesn't know she needs to love herself more, after all, the love she received and taught was conditional. Based on "you must be a good girl" to get love, you must behave and act a certain way to receive love. This feminine is often someone who wants to nurture others, she is a people pleaser, not to her own doing, but someone she was sculpted into, trained into by society and her caretakers, and surroundings. By adults who knew better.

The wounded feminine seeks out emotionally unavailable men, who are only able to give conditioned love. Usually narcissists.

It's truly painful, but it is glorious when the man she loves pays her attention, even when it's bad attention. To others it might be obvious to walk away from mistreatment, but to her, she does not realize that this is wrong, to her, this is how she was always treated, and loved. So to her this IS love. She doesn’t understand or know that there is more to love, that love can be kind, gentle, fair, balanced, and unconditional.

She doesn't know that her value and opinions matter too. She cannot quite express her feelings or opinions, because she has had a life time of memories and experiences teaching her to be quiet, to silence her emotions, her expression, her femininity.

The wounded feminine is someone who cannot express her true feelings, or may not exactly know how wounded she is. She is a high functioning individual who takes care of everyone else and burns out on giving and holding space for others. She has trouble receiving because she hasn't had many instances of this occurring. It is foreign to her, and if she has been groomed since a young age to never question anything, and just be of service and be of use… then she doesn't know any better. She doesn't know things can change, that she doesn't have to accept breadcrumbs. That her boundaries, feelings, and expression matters as well.

She constantly puts herself in energetic positioning of people pushing her down, calling in drama filled relationships in friendships, work and love. She is a survivor and can manage quite well at surviving, but has no idea that two steps in the right direction choosing herself, can be the right path forward to thriving.

The wounded feminine isn't someone who complains… she takes the pain she has stored and uses it as fuel to keep going. Rise one more time after a nasty fall.

She explains away bad treatment from others, but yet beats herself up for making the wrong decision, or trying to speak up, or even just making little mistakes. Her memories and judgement haunt her. She might not be great at expressing herself verbally, but in her head the stories, thoughts, and emotions fly.. in her heart, her body,

everything is full of decease, discomfort, self-hatred, unkind words, discomfort and agony of the pain she longs to break free from but cannot express to the world. She must keep her composure, no-one can know her pain, her story, and her “weaknesses”. She feels that her vulnerability will be used against her.

She does not know it, though she has a slightly cracked open heart, and guarded, she expects everyone mostly men to come in. Make her feel, hurt her, leave her, and make her feel useless and worthless.

She knows damn well she gave away her worth again.

She knows damn well that deep down inside something is wrong, and she deserves to be loved. She wonders if anyone will ever see her, love her the way she knows she deserves to be loved. But all these years have proven other wise.

The wounded feminine does not know that all the focus she puts on everything else but her will bring her more distractions and led her further away from her sanity, sanctuary, peace of mind, and love. Her soul tribe, her passion, and dream.

The wounded feminine, is mostly exerting masculine energy. She takes charge in her life, independent, overcompensates life, love, and has addictions to things and people who bring her immediate gratification but can be hugely harmful to her in the long run.

But when she awakens and found union and love within herself, watch out. The feminine silent power is focused, intense, and healing. She lives in the world where she no longer has to prove her worth or existence to anyone. She is truly whole within herself. And because of the immense self love and care she has given to herself. her confidence and worth oozes out of her without a single word uttered, Without a single action taken. But just being.

It's a vibe.

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